Valentines Day for the newly separated.

Uncategorized Feb 14, 2020

Today is Valentines Day.  It can be a really tough day for a separated person.

 Maybe you have spent the morning rolling your eyes as all the women in your office get their flower deliveries one by one while, in contrast, your email inbox is full of emails from your ex about arrangements for after school pick up and changeover before you go home to watch Netflix and eat pizza alone.

 Or you could be excited if it is the first Valentines Day with a new partner. All that excitement of new love is a great distraction from the property you still have sorted out with your ex. But deep down you know as soon as the day is over your new partner will start to ask questions. You know, “when are we going to buy a house together?” And “Why don’t you have money for a romantic holiday” And don’t forget, “Why are you paying mortgage on the house you lived in with your ex and rent on a new place?”

 One thing is for sure. Today is a day to feel the feels and if those feels get you down, don’t panic. We have put together 5 top tips to keep you keeping on today:

  1. Put it in perspective

Valentines Day is one day in a year full of 366 days. If you need to go into hibernation today and you want to feel a bit sad, do it. Tomorrow is a new day. However, if the sadness continues past Valentines Day to a level you feel like you can’t function at, it is a good idea to reach out to your GP or a registered psychologist for assistance.

  1. Arrange a night out with your mates

If you are feeling lonely and you don't have the kids, why not arrange to meet a few friends for a drink or invite them over to play a board game. There is nothing romantic about Cards against humanity. 

  1. Do something special with the kids

If you have your kids, hang out with them, make each other Valentines Day cards. Make it more about the love you have as a family rather than romantic love with a partner.

  1. Get fired up

 By “fired up” we don’t mean, go and abuse your ex or start a fight. We mean get fired up to resolve any long-standing parenting or property matters by getting pro active. Work out what you need to do to start things moving. This might mean getting valuations on cars and houses, gathering superannuation and bank statements, having a chat with the bank about whether you can afford to take over the mortgage and buy your ex out of their share of the house. All these things are pro active steps you can take towards a fresh start.  To help you on your way we have our free ebook, “Finding courage after separation”. 

  1. Sign up to Money Matters

If you are already fired up and want to take active steps, we have opened the waiting list for our Money Matters course, due to launch on 31 March 2020. 

The course will go for 9 weeks and involve step by step assistance negotiating your property settlement, without lawyers and without court. You can sign up here to be one of the first to be notified when it goes live: 

If all else fails be kind to yourself my friend,

Rachael x

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