Episode 22

Ever wondered how to have a difficult conversation and keep it on track? Rachael talks you through a few key concepts she uses when it comes to keeping the conversation calm and directed.

In this weeks episode of the podcast Emma Heuston, The Remote Expert (and recovering family lawyer), interviews Rachael about how to have a difficult conversation. Rachael shares some powerful mediation skills she uses and some of her own tips and tricks to diffuse unhelpful conversations and conflict that arises after separation and divorce. 

To negotiate and discuss difficult topics you need to develop some emotional intelligence by activating the frontal lobe or human brain rather than being lured into our fight or flight part of our brain. A few ways to do that are:

  • Be aware when people are triggering you with their shame, blame, anger and conflict and don't be drawn into it.
  • A conversation 'push' will receive a 'push back'.
  • Tackle and focus on the problem not the person.
  • Use your 3 keys of communication when having a difficult conversation.
    1. Listen and don't interrupt, it doesn't mean you agree if you let the other person speak.
    2. Don't Blame the other person as you'll receive a negative response. Flip it back to solving the problem.
    3. Re-frame the 'pushing' words that come out of yours and the other persons mouth so you can negotiate effectively.

If you'd like to learn more, head on over to our signature online course Money Matters, the online do-it-yourself or do-most-of-it-yourself solution to dividing your assets after separation and divorce. 

We also mention the fabulous book Untying the Knot: How to Consciously Uncouple in the Real World written by Kate Gunn. A great read that we thoroughly recommend!

Don't know where to start when it comes to the finances after separation?

We'll point you in the right direction. Download your free 24-page copy of 'Sorting the Split' now for practical tips on how to untangle your finances after separation and divorce.


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